Someone Thought This Was a Good Idea

We live in a day and age where Instagram shows nothing but the best sides of ourselves. Beauty and poise are the name of the game. If not that, something super adorable that gives us the warm and fuzzies. Models posing on a beach, branding deals with cute dogs, the romantic glow of two women that had been dating for five years that finally got engaged. Behold, the aesthetics. The joy. Life is beautiful…

But before social media, there were photos like this:

“No, ociffer! Yer drunk and order out of orderer!”

Someone in my family took this photo. Actually, multiple people took photos like this and thought, “Yes… this was a good idea. Commemorating all of these bizarre faces and moments are great ideas.”

Then you get the photos with weird, unrelated sticker quotes on them. Listen, younglings, there was a time when full-grown adults went to the craft section of the superstore and bought stickers to decorate their photos. Needless to say, no one in my family is particularly crafty or interested in scrapbooking. It’s as if my grandmother thought, “This picture missing something. But what? Oh, I know! This speech bubble that says, ‘Whoops, I’m the favorite!’ And we’ll put it on this photograph where she is staring forlornly out at a beach. So cute.

Now, if that’s not enough, then we are about to get really crazy.

Spoiler alert: it is a photo of me. Surprise!

(I mean, it’s my blog, were you expecting a photograph of Bernadette Peters? Then again, it is me…)

Admittedly, my hair is looking great with a Mom-endorsed perm and purple is a great color that brings out my eyes and is flattering on my skin tone. Like, a lot of little girls can pull off Keri Russell perms up to a certain age before you start to consider the damage it does, but I was crushing the perm game for a few years. I was cute.

But.

What.

The.

Good.

Fresh.

Hell.

IS THIS???

Yes, that is me. Laying flowers next to a casket. At a funeral.

Again, someone thought this was a good idea.

When I found this photograph, my jaw hit the floor. After that, I died laughing. I mean, what other reaction can you have?

How did this exist? Who didn’t stop this photographer from snapping a quick pic? Who decided to keep it? Look at the photo—even mini-me isn’t a big fan of having her picture taken next to a dead man in a box! And the more I look at it, the more I’m sure the mysterious family member posed me and then took their shot.

After I got myself together, I texted my mother the photo. She had no idea. “That’s weird. I don’t even know whose funeral that is…”

Then, I texted my dad.

DAD: That’s weird. Whose funeral is that?

ME: That’s why I asked you!

DAD: Huh. I don’t know, ask your mama.

ME: I did!

DAD: Oh. Well, if I were you, I’d just throw it away. That’s really weird.

Oh no, Father. It is too late. You and Mother had your chance for your Instagram life.

Now these bizarre photographs will be immortalized on the Internet. Because this is CATS level “such a bad idea that I’m now convinced it is the BEST IDEA.”

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